I thought I needed a bag to carry my sewing machine around it. So I looked and looked until I found one - and then spent like $50 on it. Now I don't use it. My sewing machine has a cover on it - so I just slip the hard plastic cover over it and go. I got tired of packing it up in the bag and going so now I don't use it. I might start again though.

I've got it in my brain that I need some spandex (but not tight) capri pants for wearing to the gym and it will wear away at me until I will finally go everywhere looking for exactly the right color and size, and fit, and buy it. It's very strange - it's not as if I don't already have enough clothes to wear to the gym, but for some reason I need to have spandex (but not tight) capri pants.

I've noticed that there are a lot of items in this house that I've accumulated over the years through just that line of thinking. Now I'm trying to break the pattern.

I'm trying to make myself do without. Everytime I find myself thinking that there's something that I just have to have - I try to start thinking about how I can do without it.

Just now - I was looking on the internet for something that's been on my brains 'back burner' for a few months.

4-5 months ago we put in some of those screw-in fluorescent bulbs shaped like vanity bulbs into the vanity lighting in our bathroom. These are 13W bulbs but you would swear that they're bright enough to get a tan from. At first I was a little brightness shocked, now I've grown to like them. Only thing is I think they were about $20 for 4 of them in a package from Costco. Everywhere they're individually sold at about $8-9 each. Costco hasn't carried them since, that I can tell anyhow.

I've looked and looked for them. Everytime I'm in a store I look for these damn bulbs. Now I've resorted to pulling one of these bulbs and looking for it on the internet.

What is wrong with me - we would be just fine with regular old incandescent bulbs. Why do I insist on obsessing about this one bulb until I find one and drag it home like a prize. Not just one but a package of 4 at a better price then buying 4 individually at $30+.

Am I a compulsive problem solver or a compulsive shopper? Why do I think I have this problem that I need to solve and keep hunting for the solution until I find it?

This is bizarre. I don't think I'm the only one with this oddness. MPH has it somewhat too. I think he was that way with vehicles for a while, which is what got him upside down in debt with vehicles. He's overcoming the vehicle compulsion though. We have 3 big bottles of some kind of Febreeze stuff (but not the same name) in the laundry closet. For some reason I think he thought we needed it because he says the dogs stink up the house.

I don't think they stink up the house - and even if they did I don't think spraying any smell pretty stuff is going to help. It might mask the smell or blend with it, but I don't think it'll make it go away - it'll just smell like a dog with perfume on it.

I don't care if they stink up the house either. I took Rosie as a charity case, I didn't think I'd have her forever, but we do. Macaroni is my guardian when MPH is out of town. He's a Tosa Inu, a small one, and he's not AKC Registered or nothing, but by the description of a Tosa Inu - he's a Tosa Inu. He's my sweet guardian. He's a big bull in a china shop most of the time, but just wants to be babied.

He was one of those things that I obsessed about until I found him. I decided that I wanted a dog a few years ago. Actually I wanted a German Shepherd but then after studying up on them - they have way too many health issues. I wanted a big dog for protection. I didn't want a Rottweiler because they're too scary looking. Then I saw a commercial about a Honda Passport or something with a dog in it. The dog drinks his owners slurpee when left alone in the vehicle. I decided then that was the type of dog I wanted. Tan all over with black snout and ears.

I looked for one constantly. Then one day I was on a local animal adoption website and found him. The second I saw his picture I knew it was him. He was the answer to what I'd been searching for.

Wanting a dog impacted other areas of my life - then I needed a home with a fenced yard. At the time I was living with my sister after selling my first home. Her and her husband had built a large large home and I rented the downstairs until I couldn't stand it anymore, for a lot more reasons than just wanting a dog.

After getting the home with MPH - then I wanted a 6 foot cedar fence around the backyard. I fussed with it a while and secured a quote from a reputable fence company. MPH thought the quote was too expensive and he wanted to also paint the house and build a huge deck - so he thought by getting a quote from somebody who could do all 3 projects would be beneficial. I had my quote in the first month of the summer, by the 3rd month of the summer when his quoter fell through - I was hopping mad and told him that I was building the stupid fence with my fence company - and I went ahead and did it. I was intent on getting my fence that summer so that I could satisfy that overwhelming need

for getting the dog.

After the fence went up then the hunt for the dog intensified - at that point I knew what I was looking for - a tan dog with black ears and snout. I looked at all breeds of dogs to try to figure out what it would be. My brother in law is a vet - and I kept asking him about different breeds. He's insistent that a mutt is the best pet to own. Purebred dogs all have health problems bred into the breed. Eye problems, hip problems, whatever. Any breed of dog throughout the generations have concentrated the problems by the inbreeding. I had a hard time accepting that until I saw Mac.

I knew the moment I saw his picture that he was the one. It was confirmed the moment I saw him - a vet was keeping him until he found a home. I went to the clinic and sat in a exam room and when Mac came in he came straight to me and I held both sides of his head petting him and his ears were sooo soft. He didn't go to MPH first - he came straight to me and looked in my eyes his tail wagging furiously. He's a ladies dog.

He has since become MPH's dog - but I was his first. MPH plays with him and is proud of him I can tell. He's a cool dog. MPH likes working with him training him new things. Throwing balls and things for him to fetch.

Mac was just another material thing to add to my collection but I would say now that he's firmly planted as a family member.